If Michelle Obama talks about obesity and healthy eating and then eats a 1,500-calorie rib dinner on vacation, she’s a hypocrite. (Correction: A black hypocrite. Eating soul food.)

But if she eats a 600-calorie ancho-chile (translation: what?) bison rib dinner on vacation, braised with kale raised in a community garden, she’s not a hypocrite, she’s elitist and out of touch. When I was a kid, growing up in a tiny, conservative farm town, eating local produce, meat, eggs and cheese went unquestioned as The Right Thing To Do. That was some years before the word “locavore” was coined and before farmer’s markets and produce stands were simultaneously hailed as the hallmark of a food revolution — and dismissed as the exclusive provenance of rich urbanites.

This is why you can’t win a culture war. A target is a target no matter how many degrees it’s spun.